The Widow Maker


Yesterday was a blur. And mostly because Monday did not happen like it normally does.

I was in my groove. I was working, I was getting my 7 Day Keep It Simple challengers ready to kick off on Monday. I was conversing with friends, and I was enjoying a peaceful and productive day.

That changed quickly after phone call from my sister. My Dad had suffered a heart attack and was in the hospital. 

That I needed to hurry. I don’t even remember responding at first. I think she even asked me if I was still on the line. I was in tears and thankfully, Dan was home and got up and was right at my side.

All I remember was being frantic, trying to figure out how to head to the hospital, which was an hour away from us, how to get the kids. Should we take the kids? Did we even have time? Was my Dad even alive? I had no other info except “heart attack” and “get to hospital”.

Dan decided to drive us because I was just in no condition to drive. I was shaking. 

I remember yelling out “Not today God. You can’t take him today.”

I wasn’t trying to boss God around, although my husband now jokes that I was being bossy. But I was desperate. It is was in my pleading and praying that I had no other words or thoughts except “No. Please NO.”

I am sure there are theological errors in how I prayed yesterday. I will let God correct me.

My Dad is alive. We got to the hospital. He was talking. He was joking with us. I could tell he was trying to brush it off a little bit. I am sure it was a little humbling with your entire family there, especially your grown daughters, clucking and crying over you. I don’t like people asking me what is wrong or worrying over me. I get that from my Dad. 

They called it the Widow Maker, the heart attack my Dad had. Most men that experience this type of heart attack don’t even make it to the hospital. Death is not instant but it is almost always certain. He almost died. I cried all the way to the hospital and suddenly in the room, hearing the Doctor share what they had to do in order to help fix him and stabilize him. I am still processing everything. I am not even sure if this post makes any sense. 

I left the hospital thanking God for His mercy. That my Daddy is still here. Changes are going to have to be made. My Dad had to cancel some big trips and plans. But I would much rather have him here.

This morning, I woke up a little more heavy hearted, but ready.

I did some yoga from Beachbody on Demand and spent time listening to worship music and praying.

Listening to my Mom and my Aunt talk about our health family history put all of this in perspective.

It was a wake up call again for me. Our family is a ticking time bomb of health concerns. Cancer. Diabetes. Heart Disease. That runs in my family. But I don’t have to play victim. I can’t prevent everything from happening to me. I don’t have that kind of power.

But I can be pro-active. I can choose to eat differently. I can know my family health history and live in a way that can reduce my risks. This is in no way to shame my Daddy. I am so thankful.

But I am wide awake right now. I well aware of the dangers. I have always a researcher. You better believe when I got home last night that I started researching for my Daddy. For myself. For my family. 

Because just because it is a part of your family history doesn’t mean you have to just take it lying down. I am too stubborn to live that way. That is not a hill I am willing to die on. 

So far, our prayers are that there was little to no permanent damage to his heart. He will be at the hospital for the next few days. I am so grateful to this community. Thank you in advance for praying for us. Your outpouring of love and support on social media has been overwhelming and we are so incredibly humbled and grateful. 

Be a Size You,

Tiffany