Tag Archives: Wife after God

Some Words Don’t Need to be Repeated

My husband and I are very different in how we respond to criticism and doubt in regards to our dreams and abilities.

I am completely stubborn. I don’t respond to the words “You Can’t” very easily. I don’t like hearing about how limited I am in my education, abilities, or resources.

I respond 95% of the time with the attitude of watch me. I will literally stare you in the face as you tell me I can’t do something, and smile at you.

That sounds passive aggressive, I know, and I don’t mean for it to be. It is just that those hurtful and critical words are used as fuel for me.

Not so for my husband.

He is far more sensitive than I. He chooses words carefully. When he was younger, he had a learning disability and struggled in school. He had a high school counselor tell him that he probably wouldn’t excel in college. (Between you and me, that absolutely ticks me off and I would so have words with her.) Those words wounded him. So much so that he figured he would just go into the military.

And then my husband became a pastor. A kid who struggled to read and hated speaking up in class, would speak on stage week after week to college age kids and services at church. And he was amazing at it.

Today, I realized again how different we are in how we respond to those who doubt our abilities.

I repeated something that I shouldn’t have to him. Not that I was supposed to keep it a secret. Someone expressed their doubts about his ability to do something, and me, being offended for him and having my “We’ll show you attitude” I repeated the words and declared that this will only fuel us.

Only, it didn’t fuel him.

It broke him.

I started to walk away confident and determined, and instead, I watched my strong, handsome, and compassionate husband begin to cry.

Have you ever seen a man cry? It is the most heartbreaking thing in the world.

His spirit was broken because I chose to repeat something that really shouldn’t have been repeated. He did not respond the way I do to hurtful criticism.

It breaks his spirit instead.

And that breaks my heart.

I absolutely believe God made me a strong woman, especially mentally. My stubbornness that many take as a weakness, can used for good.

God made my husband a tender warrior. He listens far better than I do, and he is far more compassionate than I am.

He is a far better leader than I am.

I felt so bad for the words I repeated. Even though they were not what I thought were the truth, I was offended for him, my repeating them was just as hurtful. I have to own that part.

Ladies, we are so different from our spouses. We have to remember that just because someone else says it, does not mean we need to repeat it.

Let’s use our words when talking to our husband’s to encourage and uplift. Some things don’t need to be repeated. If others don’t believe in your spouse, please don’t add to the noise. Fight for him. Edify with your words. Show him love and support by actively serving him and meeting his needs. Be selfless, not selfish.

It was a hard, but good lesson for me today as to how different Dan and I are. But it is good that we are a little different. The more we mess up together, the more we can see what each other really needs.

Be a Size You,

Tiffany

Self Care is Not Just For Fitness

You have probably heard that word, self care, a whole lot. Usually, it goes along with someone who is inviting you to join them on a journey towards being healthier and being more fit.

That is definitely part of it! A healthy body is part of the whole self care movement, but that is not the only piece! There are so many ways we busy mamas can take care of ourselves so that we can pour into those we love and give ourselves to the ministries and passions we are focused on.

Here are some of my favorite ways to get in a little me time:

*Getting my hair/nails done
*Massage
*Facials
*shopping (Did you see my last blog post?)
*Night out with the girls
*Reading an uplifting book
*Learning a new skill
*Soothing music
*Bath time and using my favorite essential oils/natural skin care products
*Going to the beach or any place that has water
*Hiking or fun outdoor activity with girlfriends
*Study a new topic
*Exercise
*Try a new healthy food restaurant
*Test out a new recipe or bake something yummy
*Blogging/writing
*Being creative and putting together pretty outfits for myself, friends, and family.
*Singing, by myself, out loud in my home.
*Taking a nap! (Do it!)

As you can see, there are so many ways to fill your tank. We give a ton to those around us. If you are a mama, you probably feel like you are constantly running on empty.

But, it is hard to pour into others if you yourself are running on empty. It really is.

Fill your tank, then let that overflow into others.

We are such a busy society! Who the heck told us that in order to be great or worth anything, we had to run ourselves ragged? Who said busier was better?

Who said being a wife and mom was an act of a martyr? Um no.

There are sacrifices, yes. Obviously. But being a wife and a mom isn't a prison sentence. It isn't horrible. Let's knock that off.

Let's take care of ourselves and do things that bring us beauty, joy, pleasure, and then let's bring those very things to those we love.

What are your favorite ways to practice self care?

Be a Size You,

Tiff

I’m Feeling 35

Image via Google images
Image via Google images

Today is my birthday!!!!  To be honest, I never really thought about what it would feel like to turn 35 years old.  Haha! It seemed like such a far away age when I was younger.

But here it is! And it is glorious.

I can honestly say that I feel more amazing at 35 than I did when I was 25.  I feel more confident in who I am as a woman of Christ, as a wife, as a mother, as a business woman, as a friend.

I could go on and on about how good being in my 30’s have felt. I know some women dread it.  Some decades are harder for others. I have no idea how I will feel in my 40’s and 50’s and beyond.

But I am going to embrace how good I feel now.  It just feels good to feel good in your skin and enjoy life. I know there are a lot of my fellow gal pals who will agree!

It feels good to feel good!

What was your favorite age and why? I would love to hear what God taught you during that time of your life!

Be a Size You,

Tiffany