Tag Archives: ministry

When You Hear God Clearly, But Still Find Yourself Hurt

God who answers prayer

Sees me in my need

Runs to my despair

Your promise I believe

That You Are, You Are, You Are God

God Who Answers Prayer by Elevation Worship 2009


There is no sugar coating it. I have been struggling. Emotionally and physically.

Yesterday, we attended church as a family for the first time in weeks. WEEKS.  A family that has served the better half of a decade in the local church suddenly finds themselves at a loss as to where to attend and worship.  We have mostly resorted to online services and reading bible stories, listening to worship music or even watching  Veggie Tales.

I tend to silently suffer in my emotions. Crying has always felt like a sign of weakness, like I am being a drama queen.  I don’t cry often, but when I do, it is not in front of others.  I can’t stand the attention or the questions from others who are concerned.  Questions like “Are you okay?” are so hard for me to answer.

Because yes, I am okay,  but just a little broken. 

A little tired.

A little weary. 

A lot over it. 

Back in July, I blogged about how we were in the midst of waiting, as Dan felt God was calling him to Pastor a church.  That it was time for him to make the next step in his call in vocational ministry.

We are still waiting, and honestly, this all looks like a pipe dream.

It feels like maybe, we heard wrong.

When Dan didn’t get a position back in June, and then all the “Thanks but no thanks” started to roll in, it was very easy to question what we were doing.

What God was doing.

I felt hurt. What was wrong with us, that nobody wanted us to be a part of their church? And if I could be brutally honest, I began to feel a little bit of anger towards those in leadership at those churches.  It’s an ugly feeling, but I felt it.

It was also easy to question what we did wrong. What questions didn’t we answer correctly? What did I post on social media that they saw and didn’t like and made a judgement about us? So many questions, and we had no answers.

We still have no answers, except to press on.

Perhaps in the meantime, vocational ministry is a no for us.  So we will do other things. We will serve His church.  We will find a church to call home.  I will still work at home with my hands for my family. Dan will work as well….to do what he can do take care of his little family that God has given him to lead.

“And the Lord will guide you continually

and satisfy your desire in scorched places

and make your bones strong;

and you shall be like a watered garden, 

like a spring of water,

whose waters do not fail.” Isaiah 58:11

Sister friends, have you been there? Do you feel as though you have heard God clearly, but yet you find yourself in a place you didn’t expect?

Are you weary of waiting? Does resentment and hurt bubble up inside of you, daring to pour out its devastation and wrath to whoever or whatever crosses its path? Or do just feel tired and lack joy?

I am there with you.  I get it.  As tiring and long as this walk is, as often as we try to put on our brave face and smile through it, as much as we hate complaining….let us also walk in confidence that God hears us, sees us, and cares for us.

Let us cling to promises in His word, even if we have to read them with tight fists and tear-filled eyes.  Even when we literally cannot find the words to utter in prayer, praise Him for the fact that He knows our heart before we speak it out loud.

Let us remember that when all of this is over, we will be like a spring of water. We will be renewed and restored.  We have hope.

Praying for those of you in the trenches and in the desert, sister friends.

Be a Size You,



I love that word. Radiant. 2016-10-07-18-10-59

The word is defined as this: sending out light; shining or glowing brightly.

What an incredible word to use to describe those of us who claim Jesus as our Lord and Savior and choose follow Him with hearts abandoned.

I had the incredible opportunity to attend our church’s women’s conference and it was such a blessing to my heart.  There were so many amazing nuggets that I took away from this weekend and I rabidly scribbled them down in my little notebook because I didn’t want to miss them.  I wanted these words so that I could go back and read them again and of course, share them with you.

Here are several of my favorites:

“Hope is like oxygen.”-Nancy Ortberg

“Hope is what lives in between faith and denial.” Nancy Ortberg

“Hope is really a journey to believe that God is good.” Nancy Ortberg

“In a broken world, hope is hard work.” Nancy Ortberg (this…wow…I really needed that!)

“God’s power is activated in your life when you believe He is who He says He is.” -Karissa Harrison

“Your addiction to comfort is the enemy of your purpose.” -Karissa Harrison (Whew!! Again, such a good word!)

“Fear drives us to be selfish.” -Karissa Harrison

“Action is often required before provision.” -Karissa Harrison

Just an incredible time of digging into God’s word and listening as these two women with incredible insight share their wisdom with us so that we could grow closer to our God and then go forth into the world with God confidence in who He says He is and what He says about us. So that we may be shine brightly in a dark and hurting world.

I loved that Karissa Harrison, our women’s pastor, challenged us to recite God’s word over and over again:

“For God gave us not a Spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Spending time with other women at the church and hearing their stories and what God was teaching them that weekend was refreshing and encouraging.


Let’s be Radiant.

Be a Size You,



You Matter

Did you know that? Did you know, sweet woman, that you matter in this world?

That while you may be doing all the mundane activities no one else seems to recognize: wiping little noses, cleaning dirty dishes, cooking meals that often bring complaints, dropping off little ones at school or daycare so you can work a 9-6 job that you aren’t even sure you enjoy…you still matter.

You are important and you are of great value.  You matter to those closest to you, and you matter to your Heavenly Father who created you.

In the shuffle of serving everyone else and making sure their needs are met, I often hear from my fellow hard-working women that they cannot take the time to be a part of my fitness groups because they are simply too busy.

But my friend, if you are busy, then you cannot afford to put your health last.  You simply can’t.

What if I told you that there is a better way? That you don’t have to be obsessed with weight loss, but you could simply choose to do something to feel better. To move a little more than you did before?

What if you started your day, each day, like this:


Read His word. Dig in. Pray.  Start by nourishing your soul with the good of the Lord and His promises. His truth will center you and prepare you for the day.


What if for just 30-40 minutes a day, which calculates to really only 2% of your entire day, you moved your body? Did you know, that movement, creates not only endorphins, but it just feels good? There is a reason why people say they never regret a workout. They always regret not working out, especially when they are capable of moving.  You don’t have to spend two hours at the gym for an exercise to be effective. You can be an amazing woman, wife, and mom and sweat.


Just like we want to speak uplifting words to our own hearts and the hearts of those we love, let’s choose foods that nourish our bodies. As busy as we are, we can’t afford to not have life giving nutrients fill our stomachs.  We must be intentional. It doesn’t have to be tricky, or extremely expensive, or take a ton of man hours in the kitchen, but it does take some effort. You don’t want your children to live off of sugary drinks and foods, why would you choose to do that to your own body?


What if I told you that you didn’t have to do this alone? That it could be fun. That you could build new relationships and deeper connections with other women who choose to believe that They Matter. That you Matter.  That you can feel good in this skin you are in, and love your family well. I will do all I can to encourage you and uplift you and celebrate you. Because you matter.


Not just physically, although some of you may have some physical goals to work towards and that is awesome! But you will also transform on the inside. You will begin to love the body God created you with. You will want to take care of the body He gave you.  You will workout and eat well, not because of your hatred for your body, but out of love for your creator and to honor Him daily with your body.  Your heart will transform and you will seek Him through everything.  You will have more energy to serve those you love. You may discover a new passion you never thought you had. You may inspire others to join you in living a life worth living. Doesn’t that kind of life sound amazing?

Do you believe You Matter? I would love to have you in my upcoming fitness accountability group beginning soon.  You can apply here to be considered for a spot in my group and to truly transformed from the inside out.

Be a Size You,


Are You a Martha or a Mary?

Pastor Dan Quote
Photo by Cornerstone Community Church

I used to hate these messages. The story of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10:38-42. Every time a Pastor would walk on stage, and he would begin talking about how we all need to be Mary’s, and it would make all of us Martha’s (probably the majority of them being women who had a bazillion things on our plates) feel small and with deep regret.

I rarely walked out of those types of messages encouraged. I would mostly wallow in how I continually failed to be like Mary and just sit at the feet of Jesus.  I have always been a “hands on” kind of gal.  If something needed to be done, and no one was doing it, then I was going to get it done.

My husband had the opportunity to teach at our church a couple of Sunday’s ago, and I was really nervous for how this message was going to go.  Not because I didn’t believe in my husband…but because of the topic! Of all the passages! Mary and Martha?? Really??!!

But I was pleasantly surprised, and I hope you will be too.  See, being a Martha is not a bad thing. The world needs Martha’s. Martha’s get things done. They are most often the ones serving within the church, they are giving of their time, their treasures, and their talents in order to serve God’s kingdom. They are busy. You see them as you walk into church on Sunday morning and they great you at the door.  They are often leading small groups or bible studies, or praying with folks in the congregations. They are often leaders of ministries, or maybe they even work in business for God’s glory. They are doers.

But even doers get exhausted.  Sometimes, they are so busy, they don’t pause long enough to gain refreshment at the feet of Jesus.

That is the point. Both are needed. Jesus wasn’t saying that Martha was bad, but that Mary had chosen better at that moment. With all the business that had to be taken care of, Mary chose in that moment to allow Jesus to pour into her soul and heart. She drank in His words. He filled her. Poor Martha, although she was doing good things, she was stressed.

I am a Martha, but I am learning to slow down and choose as Mary did. Choose Jesus and allow Him to fill your cup so you can go out and do your Kingdom work.  Because we cannot do much in our own power, but if we are filled with His, oh imagine what we are capable of.

It is much better to be occupied with Jesus, than to just do things for Him. Just doing things for Him leaves us exhausted. That is not what Christ desired when He said “Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest.” When we come to Him, we will be refreshed.  His word is LIFE.

Sit at His feet. And be prepared for the joy that comes with it. And if you have some time, grab a cup of coffee and tea and go listen to Dan’s message!  (I know, a total shameless plug lol! I am a proud wifey!)

Be a Size You,