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When Being Brave Means Disappointing Others

“Do not think that you can be brave with your life and your work and never disappoint anyone. It doesn’t work that way.”- Oprah Winfrey

I am not typically an Oprah Winfrey fan, but I fully believe that you can learn from others, even if you don’t necessarily agree with everything they believe in.

This quote from Oprah Winfrey, which she shared when interviewed by Brene Brown awhile back, really struck a cord with me.

I wouldn’t say that I am necessarily a people pleaser.  I tend to march to the beat of my own drum and am fairly confident in the things that I want to pursue.  I am a classic INFJ (even my husband was shocked at how well this description pegged me) and when my gut feels strongly in a direction, I do not hesitate to walk towards it, even though odds may be against me.

I am a dreamer. Details tend to bore and overwhelm me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find them important. They just aren’t my strengths. I don’t seek advice a lot, unless I really, really need direction and wise counsel in an area.  I want the best information possible if I have to make a big decision and I find myself stuck.

I am not a people pleaser, but at the same time, I really don’t enjoy disappointing people. I never want to make someone upset about my actions or decisions, even if they are the best for ME and MY Family.

But the reality is, I will disappoint people.  And so will you.

I have to imagine that when David decided to take on Goliath, even after well meaning people told him not to because he was young, not a soldier, and inexperienced, that it took some bravery. (Read 1 Samuel 17 for more insight onto this…plus, the story of David and Goliath is always a good one.  So many great lessons we can glean from this!)

His own brother was angry with David and mistook David’s willingness to go up against the giant as selfish and as a means to gain popularity and ranking, instead of seeing that David loved His Lord and wanted to serve and defend Him and state the truth of who God was and about Israel. David had faith that God was leading this incredible moment. Just a note, you will have family members who will mistake your bravery and direction with motives you didn’t intend.  Do not be afraid, but understand that it will happen.

365 times do the words “Do Not Fear” appear in the bible.  God says that to His followers many times, as a way to encourage them as they navigate the often treacherous and uncertain waters of their lives, or they find themselves in situations they are unsure about.

God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and of self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7

Lately, due to the many changes going on currently in our life, I have found myself embracing new opportunities and asking new questions about my life, my dreams and what I want to pursue.  I am not necessarily leaving behind current obligations, but being open and praying about how I can best utilize my gifts, talents, dreams and abilities to serve God and serve His people.

I have been writing more, which while does not bring me a paycheck, it has allowed me express my heart and share what God has been teaching me.  If I could never work again in my life, writing and blogging is what I would want to do.

I have also been taking advantage of my love of fashion and shopping and selling clothes on a fun little app called Poshmark.  This is another way to help bring in additional income for my family, and try out something new.  Many people will view it as a waste of time, but I am not really concerned with that.  It is fun for me and I have found myself enjoying the process of finding cute items to list, sell, then wrap beautifully and ship to a customer.  I enjoyed working in retail as a teenager, and I don’t think I would mind working in a retail store or boutique.

I am still working as an online health and fitness coach through Be a Size You.  I have really stopped focusing on challenge groups and have found that most of those who follow me are needing more individual attention and guidance and encouragement.  They are willing to buy a plan, but they aren’t comfortable yet with sharing with an entire group of women they don’t really know (and truthfully, it is hard to really know someone online.)  This allows me to build  a better relationship with the woman I am serving, and really help her be the hero in her own health and fitness story.  This decision goes against the grain of “do more challenge groups” and “sell a bunch of fitness plans and shakes.”  I love our fitness programs and I love our nutritional products, and those who do my 1:1 sessions do need to invest in one or both of those in order to get started, but we will journey through it together and they will have my full attention.

Are you about to embark on something new, and are afraid of disappointing others?  Be brave, sister friend. You are bound to.  But when others express disappointment in you because you are choosing to go down a different career path, goal, adventure, whatever……understand that most of the time, they just can’t understand what you are doing because they aren’t willing to do it themselves.  You aren’t doing it for them.

My WHY is always my family.  Every business decision, every relational decision, every heart decision….my family is the biggest motivator for them.  My dream is to serve them and take care of them. To create something wonderful that I could possibly pass on to them.  To live a life of faith and trusting in God’s goodness and mercy and grace and teaching my children to embrace all that the Lord has for us and for them and for their future.  Others will not understand it or your bravery, but it will be okay.

Be a Size You,

Tiffany

 

She Laughs at the Time to Come

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. Proverbs 31:25

We have a prayer board in our home, and a tiny tin bucket carrying random scraps of paper so that we can easily write out the requests laid on our hearts and for our friends and family.  It is on display where can see it regularly, to remind us to bring those very requests to God.

One particular prayer caught my eye.

It was written by my daughter Madi.

Most of you know that we are in a season of in between.  Waiting. Dan doing random jobs here and there but nothing consistent.  I, myself, am still working at home in order to contribute to providing for our family.  We say we are hopeful, but often times, I think I feel a little desperate and downright impatient.

On this particular day, I was really impatient. And angry. Anxious. Worried. Fretting over what is going to happen next month.  Striving to make things work, no matter how much God continued to provide for us.  I had been carrying this attitude of “if it is meant to be, it is up to me.”

I was living in deep fear and I was acting it out in all of my clawing and striving.

I glanced over at the prayer board and I saw a prayer written in bright green ink. All with misspelled words, but it didn’t matter at the moment.  My 11 year old wrote out a precious request to God for her Daddy.  To help him.  She didn’t care what the answer was. That God would just help him.

I am not usually a crier, but in my old age, that is rapidly changing. I cried because she did it right. She went to the only place she knew how in order to make things a little better.

And that was to her precious Lord.

In all of my stomping and whining and complaining and prideful striving, I didn’t pray nearly as earnest as her sweet prayer on a tiny white sheet of paper.  It was simple, to the point, and honest.  She clothed herself with armor and she activated it with prayer (read Ephesians 6:10-18)

My daughter taught me that while I was doing a good way (working to provide) I was not doing it the best way. I did not always go first to make my requests knows to God.  Or I would be so angry about the wait and so impatient while waiting for answers that I would skip it all together, as if that would show Him.

How gracious is He to remind me that His ways are better. And that he used an 11 year old to remind me? And that it was sweet and precious and gentle?  Sometimes our lessons as we walk it out with Him aren’t that sweet. They can be painful, but this one was not.

I showed a friend of mine Madi’s prayer, and she encouraged me, knowing the season we are in. Her words:

“I can’t help but think of how He used the last tough season to grow you, and I know this one will be the same.”

It was the encouragement I needed that moment to take me back to remember what He, the Lord has done in my life and in the life of my family.  Every season has its peaks and valleys, but He always uses it to grow us closer to Him and mold us to be more like Him. We will always be changed.

Will you clothe yourself in the strength and dignity of the Lord, knowing that He alone is bigger than whatever circumstance, wait, adventure you may find yourself in, and laugh at what is to come.

It may not be what you expected or even requested, but we can have faith that His promises are true and they are sure and we do not have to fear the future, even if it all looks bleak, your bank account is in the negative, no opportunities appearing on the horizon. He is bigger than all of it.

Be a Size You,

Tiffany

When Opportunities Arise, Do We Pray Boldly?

Mug from CrossTraining Couture

The morning I took this picture, it was after a pretty exciting night of opportunity for my family.  Let’s just say, if God so wills, it could be a pretty amazing thing for Dan and for our calling into ministry.

I woke up excited, slightly anxious (I hate the waiting and the unknown).  I texted a few soul sisters of mine who I could count on for their prayers and encouragement.

I prayed boldly. I have been praying boldly. When you pray, do you pray bold prayers?

I know so often, we pray generic prayers like

“Lord, if it is your will, then let it be done.”

Which is true. We should be praying in all things for it to be God’s will. That it is because what we are praying for is for Kingdom glory and not for our own. But get specific. It is okay to ask for something specifically.

When Dan decided to leave the Ranch, and he had not job in sight at the time, we prayed boldly together for the opportunity to get back into the local church. That is where our heart was and that is where we wanted to be.  I have always believed that God has specifically called Dan to local church ministry.  He has had his fair share of tossing around other career ideas, but you can’t burn out the flame of God’s call on your life.

Ministry is Dan’s calling.  It won’t die out until God says it is time to be done.

During that time, while in my In Laws home, I created a prayer door.  I would use post it notes and place my prayers on that door. I prayed for my kids while they attended school. For our transition into ministry. For provision.  I prayed for Dan’s call into ministry.

I prayed for my team.

When Dan got the job at Cornerstone Church, I prayed for a place for us to live. I was even specific about what we would love to live in.  I prayed for the education choice I was going to have to make for my kids.

I didn’t get everything I wanted. But I got everything I needed.

That is what prayer does.  It is our way of communicating with our Heavenly Father who sees what we need and even sees what we want.  We get to lay it all out in front of Him. And in His goodness, like a loving daddy who desires to give good gifts to his children, that is what our Heavenly Father does. We don’t get everything we want, but we get everything we need.

I see too often women who love Jesus afraid to pray bold prayers because they think that if they do, then it won’t happen. No, sweet sister. Pray your bold prayers! Get on your knees before Him and share those heartfelt desires of yours. What are those needs? What are your dreams?

Do you get excited about the opportunities that come your way? Do you pray boldly for them? Can I challenge you to do that?

Let’s get excited about the possibilities God places in front us to serve His people. Love God. Love His people.  Whether they are job opportunities, ministry opportunities, or just the chance coffee date with a new gal pal, get excited about it.

You may not get everything you want. But you will get everything you need.

I am constantly encouraged when I read in Matthew 21:13

“And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

I am also encouraged to pray boldly when in Psalm 37:4 calls us to:

“Delight yourselves in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Delight in my heavenly Father. When I spend time kneeling before Him and pouring out my heart to Him and digging into His precious Word so that I can be more and more like Him, the more my prayers are molded to reflect His heart. I don’t spend time with Him or delight in Him because I want to get what I want.

I delight in Him because I know, like with any good father, that I may not get everything I want.

But I will get everything I need.

And He is faithful always with what we present before Him.

Pray boldly,

Tiffany

Mama, You Should Rest


Every Sunday, after church and lunch, I take a nap. 

I believe and value rest so much that I make sure I do it. My husband laughs at me, but he knows that I need it.

I am an introvert. I can be around people and I generally enjoy talking with others and engaging with them. But when I have hit my max of interaction, I shut down. I go to my happy place of solitude. I rest my body. 

I work so hard each week. I work from home on my business and helping women get healthy.

I run my house too, menu plan, plan out the kids after school activities and where everyone needs to be. I pay bills, clean up, do laundry, and cook meals. 

I snuggle with hubby and kids and we have fun. I kiss boo-boos and give encouraging words. I work out six days a week to keep my body strong. I nourish myself and my family to keep the germs at bay and hopefully we live a little longer. 

So I rest. God says it is good too.

For God did it after He created the earth. He did it and looked over his creation and said it was good. He appreciated the hard work. Don’t confuse God with resting as if He took a nap.

No, he rested to look over his hard work with approval. It was good. He enjoyed it.

The same can be said for me and for you, mama. Being human, we have moments where our bodies must stop for a moment. Maybe you have more energy than I do, so a nap doesn’t appeal to you. But rest and slowing down should. We don’t have to be busy 24/7 to have purpose. I think being busy all the time will sometimes lead us to be distracted by all the wrong things.

I am a go getter. I love to accomplish things. I love to check stuff off my to-do list. The competitor in me likes to win.

But in order to get what I need to done, and to be present, and to focus on what really matters, I need to be able to rest to appreciate all the hard work, to be grateful in it. To enjoy it. 

And then, when my body has rested, I rise again, knowing it is time to keep going and keep doing the good work of raising a family and living a life that reflects Jesus. 

Sister Friend, take a moment to rest. Do something you enjoy. 

And then press on.

Be a Size You,
Tiffany 

Love Your Family


One of the main ingredients in a successful life is how you treat your family.

Are you serving them? Or are you focused on yourself?

No matter what our vocation may be, if we are more popular or loved by where we work than at home, it will mean nothing.

Success will mean nothing.

In the bible, it talks about the Proverbs 31 woman who is praised by her husband and her children. They acknowledge who she is and what she has done and how “excellent a woman she is” because of how she served those in her home.

Every decision she made was for the good of her husband and her family.

Ladies. Wives. Friends. Shouldn’t that be our focus as well?

It is okay to have a career and be passionate about something other than what to make for dinner each night. It is okay to use our gifts and skills and abilities for the kingdom and for a vocation.

What is not okay is choosing to push our family to the side as if they are in the way of our achievements or goals. No. You have it twisted.

You push them aside, your achievements will mean nothing. Sure, you will look great to everyone else, but your family will know the truth.

If you want real success, define it with your family in mind. Include them in the process. I am constantly blabbing Dan’s ear off about my goals. I include him because I love him and this is all for him. I want to help him. 

Fight for your family! Too many of us are in it for ourselves. Let’s be different. 

Let’s SERVE our families (there is that dirty word, ladies) and allow everything we do be because we want to honor God in our marriages, honor our husbands and let them lead, and raise our sons and daughters to fight for family. 

Be a Size You,

Tiff 

Jesus Loves this Hot Mess

Shirt from bestillclothingco.com
Shirt from bestillclothingco.com

You ever feel like you are just one big mess?

It is part of my story. It still is, if I am being honest.  I know it can be really easy to show all of the good stuff on social media. On my IG, you see the highlight reel.  You will rarely see my constantly messy home (I seriously lack in the domestic department), the home cooked meals that are pushed away by picky 10 & 6 year olds.

The tantrums that happen right after you snap a smiling photo on social media for all the world to see.

And then there are your own failures.  The times where you want to get it right, but you end up getting it oh so wrong.

But we don’t often share those photos. We hide them, and then we vow to do better.

We try to be better.  Work harder. Have more faith. Be kinder.

I am thankful, though, that even with all my of my blundering, God loves me.  I am a hot mess. But He loves me too much to stay there.  I am a sinner saved by grace through faith.

That when I found Christ, I became a redeemed daughter of the King!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, (she) is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV (emphasis mine)

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for the adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will…” Ephesians 1:3-5 ESV

Don’t you see?  The world may see us as failures. We may not ever live up the expectations that society puts on us.  We may very well be a hot mess due to our flesh.

But God loves us. He sees us as His children. Redeemed.  He did not have to create us in order to have a relationship with us.  He had no need. But He CHOSE to.

For that, I am thankful.

Be a Size You,

Tiffany