I got up early this morning. My house is a mess, but I don’t care at the moment. I am literally sitting here looking over photos of my kids and of my Mama.
And now, Sean is up and has decided to snuggle up next to me on this very small leather chair. My day has officially begun.
Yes, on Mother’s Day, we Mamas still show up and do our jobs of nurturing and loving our people. I don’t want a day off from that. (But I will take a day off from laundry, or maybe even cooking!)
I remember after Dan and I got married twelve years ago that we had decided on the five year plan before beginning our family. We didn’t feel ready to take on tiny people. Y’all, I could not cook to save my life. Or do laundry. Or clean all that well. How in the world was I going to take care of babies when I was struggling to keep my husband alive? (Sorry, babe!)
However, God saw fit to give us Madi in 2006 and then Sean in 2009.
Being a young mom, at least in today’s climate, it was a struggle. It was hard to grow up and sacrifice a lot of yourself for human beings who needed so much from you. It was both exciting and extremely exhausting. I remember moments of just wanting to hide in the shower by myself for 10 minutes, just to feel clean and to have a good cry. My husband was so good about giving me the emotional space to do that.
I also remember moments when I would leave for work and tell myself that I would find a way to get home and stay home so that I could be with them. I didn’t want to miss a single milestone. We sacrificed a lot to have me quit my job to stay home. So many didn’t agree with it. But I know WE did the right thing for our family. We have no regrets in that.
My parents made the same decision when I was born. My mama was working when she became pregnant with me. After she had me, she decided she didn’t want to go back to work. And my dad agreed. It was hard. And several weeks later, they would be expecting my sister Sheena! Ha! Sheena and I are 10 1/2 months apart. You can do the math!
I don’t think they regret it all. They have never said to us, “I wish I would have worked when I had you.” But my mom wanted to be with us.
I wanted to follow in the example my mom set.
Now, this isn’t a post about how stay at home moms are better. They aren’t. Working mamas get it done and they do what they need to in order to provide for their families. Because they love their kids fiercely as well.
But this is our story. This is what we chose. And on this Mother’s Day, I am thankful that even through the struggles to pay bills and a lot of the time living paycheck to paycheck, my kids still call me momma and they have awesome memories. We get to play and we get to learn and we get to grow together.
We are in a new stage of parenting. Our kids are older now, and they are beginning to show some independence. They enjoy baseball, swimming, talking with their friends, riding on bikes and scooters, Madi enjoys shopping with me and reading 700 page books. Sean is all about Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants. Very different from those days of naps and diapers. It makes me a little weepy, actually.
I wonder if that was how my mom felt, watching us grow up and become individuals. The bed time snuggles and Disney movie watching and summertime family beach trips occurred less and less as we got older. I am sure that made my mom’s heart ache just a bit. You forget about the rough patches and you cling to the good.
So, to my fellow Mama’s, Happy Mother’s Day. You may not get a ton of presents or a day at the spa, but you are cherished. You have people who call you mama. Enjoy today.
For my precious friends who are grieving today, either due to loss, or empty arms and wombs, you are not forgotten either. I wish I could hug you in person, but here is my virtual heart for you. Praying for you today.
To my own mother, Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you for your sacrifice, for teaching me to be strong, to be myself, to stand up to injustice or wrong doing, to fight for the people you love. I love you.
Be a Size You,