Monthly Archives: June 2009

Recommended Reading

I LOVE to read and I know a lot of you do too.  Often when I post I am reading a book, many times I will get an email or comment about it or a recommendation to read another book.

I love that!

Here I will post some books that I have read and loved.  This page will be updated as I often find new favorites to add to my library and share with others.  Feel free to keep recommending books to me!

Spiritual Growth:

Having a Mary Heart In A Martha World: Joanna Weaver

Crazy Love: Francis Chan

Renovation Of The Heart: Dallas Willard

The Power of a Praying Wife: Stormie Omartian

The Purpose Driven Life: Rick Warren

Goodbye Insecurity, You’ve Been A Bad Friend To Us: Beth Moore

Forgotten God: Francis Chan

Beautiful in God’s Eyes: Elizabeth George

The Excellent Wife: Martha Peace


Francine River books:

~The Atonement Child

~And The Shofar Blew

~Redeeming Love (A favorite among a lot of us!)

Social Justice/Non profit organizations:

The Hole In Our Gospel: Richard Stearns

Dangerous Surrender: Kay Warren

With Justice For All: A Strategy for Community Development: John Perkins


Same Kind Of Different As Me

Twilight Series (I know, but I really did enjoy them!)

I Will Carry You: Angie Smith

Hard Sunday and Monday isn’t looking much better

Sunday I was not feeling so hot.  I felt nauseous, tired, irritable and to top it all off…..Madi decided that she just wasn't going to listen to a SINGLE WORD I SAID.

Let me just say that she was in timeout practically all day and there was  a lot of yelling  and I wanted to pull every single strand of hair out of my head.  She was obedient only when she finally fell asleep at 9:30pm.  And I definitely cried because it was not my best mommy day. Those days leave me zapped of energy and I feel so underserving of having children.

Monday is not looking so much better.

Today I am feeling a tad bit better but not much. Madi was just told by Daddy that she better listen to me or he will have to discipline her when he gets home.  Funny how she turns to me with those big blue eyes and says "I'm sorry Mommy, I'll listen."

I'm a sucker for that little girl's blue eyes.   Can't resist them.

This morning on Facebook I put on my status that it was going to be hot and I would be spending time in the pool. A friend said I should go to the mall and walk.  I know she was trying to encourage me since I really want this kid out and walking can help with stimulating labor. But I just wasn't having it today and I snapped. 


Not my best moment as a friend. 

I think I need to lock myself away with a HUGE VENTI CARAMEL FRAPPUCINO and read my bible.  Because apparently my attitude and my tongue are causing me to do a whole bunch of things I am not proud of. I could blame it on the fact that I am still pregnant and I am hormonal. But really I can control what I say and how I react. There is no need for the behavior I have shown the last couple of days.

Yep, definitely going to lock myself away. Hubby will just have to babysit for a little while. I think he will be okay with that. 😉


39 weeks and needing thicker skin

So I am 39 weeks along. BBH will be here hopefully soon and I am praying that I go into labor on my own sometime this week. My doctor stated that he will induce at 41 weeks if he isn’t out by then. I really, really don’t want to be induced. Many of you know that I want to have an intervention free delivery (barring any actual complications) and an induction would really make it hard to accomplish that. LOL!

I have learned today that I need thicker skin. In my post yesterday, I wasn’t trying to be insensitive but merely pointing out a trend that I see in our culture. I mentioned it on facebook as well and let’s just say that someone wasn’t really happy with me. I was not judging anyone but they felt the need to personally attack me about my thoughts on the subject.

That hurt.

I can understand not agreeing with me, but don’t attack me. It really hurt my feelings. Again this is one of those situations where I need to take this person, whom I love very much, before the Lord and leave it His feet. The sting of those words may not go away but I can have peace knowing that I am honoring my heavenly Father and I can remain in fellowship with Him wihout having an evil or hurtful thought in my heart towards this person. And I can forgive them, even when it is not asked for or merited. Nothing I have done is worthy of the forgiveness and mercy God showed me when He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us.

To end this post, since I mentioned in the last post that it disturbed me that there was far more emotion towards the passing of a celebrity than of the pain in the world, I want you to check out some of my favorite organizations in my Make A Difference/Change The World tab on my navigation bar. I am very very passionate about those who don’t have enough to eat, enslaved in sex trafficking and The AIDS/HIV crisis.

In Him!


Death of celebrities

I am sure that everyone has heard about the sudden passing of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed Mcmahon. It really is a sad day when an individual dies. My hope is that each of these individuals knew Jesus Christ as their Savior so that they will experience true peace and healing in the arms of the Lord.

But you know what really gets me? Twitter and facebook were updated constantly in regards to the death of these celebrities (I had tweeted as well) an yet every single day we have human beings dying from AIDS/HIV, hunger, war crimes and rape….yet we don’t see nearly the same amount of traffic in regards to these situations. I am not trying to put myself on a pedestal for I often find myself getting caught up in pop culture. I am ashamed to admit it but it is true. I like to read the gossip magazines. But I don’t want to be one of those individuals who is so obsessed with celebrity that I forget about those who truly need the media coverage and our help!

So why don’t our cable news cover crimes against humanity more than celebrity fashion and controversy? Entertainment. And constantly hearing about people starving in Africa can become weary after awhile. But don’t forget them. That should be something that makes us cry. We should be disgusted and brought to tears over something like that. We can make a difference in the life of another individual if we really wanted to. I enjoyed MJ’s music, but I am not going to cry over his death or write a eulogy.

I am sad for the families who are experiencing the loss of a beloved family member. My prayers are with them today and I can only hope they are able to be comforted today. I am not trying to sound insensitive although I am sure this may come off that way. I just find it sort of interesting.


When someone hurts you…pray.

I am going to be very honest here.  I have had this on my heart for awhile now and yesterday, the reality of it all came to a sudden crashing halt as I realized just the kind of woman I tend to become when I am hurt. 

I don't pray for my enemies. Or really for those who I feel have wronged me or my family.

In fact, I seek to find revenge, list all the things that they do wrong when they dare to point out my indescretions and write them off as someone who is unworthy of prayer or encouragement.  I found myself thinking this way about someone in particular yesterday and it startled me.  I literally felt as if the Lord grabbed my heart out of my chest and thrust it in front of the mirror so that I could see the ugliness that was trapped and buried inside there.  It wasn't a pretty sight.  I was disgusted and abhorred by the fact that I, a pastor's wife, could be capable of feeling such animosity towards someone and not think twice of it. 

Praise Him that He revealed it to me. 

It all started when Dan called me this morning about an important duty that we had been neglecting.  Really, I am glad he called because it needed to be addressed but I felt bad for him since he was the one who had to deal with it and bear the brunt of the consequences.  I didn't like the fact that my husband felt irresponsible and like a failure in a certain area.  My husband works hard. He works very hard and I take it so personally when someone doesn't realize just how hard he works and yet he is criticized.  Of course criticism and correction come with the territory and that I should ready to accept it when it comes as long as it lines up with God's word. 

But for some reason that doesn't keep me from thinking ugly thoughts about the person who says them. 

So last night I had to submit those thoughts to the Lord in prayer and ask for His forgiveness.  And then I did something I hadn't done in a long time for this person.  I prayed for them. Even though I was hurt, even though I was angry and I didn't really feel like bringing this person to the Lord….I had to do it.  It was the Lord directing my words and my heart to pray for this person.

This isn't always the easy thing to do. Who am I kidding. This is the HARDEST thing a person can do sometimes. 

This verse really reminds me that in order to have peace with self and often with others…we must kneel before our Father and leave it all at His feet:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Phil 4:6)

This verse is often applied to the worries of our life and struggles and this is very true. But I feel that this verse can also apply to when we feel any anxiousness, weariness or animosity towards individuals.  Lay it all at His feet.

How can my mouth confess to know and love the Lord yet I harbor angry feelings towards someone in my heart and on my lips? 

James 3:9

"With it (the tongue) we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God."

Does that send shivers down your spine? How easily we can be influenced by our feelings towards an individual…we praise our heavenly Father one minute and yet speak evil about someone in another minute. 

As James says…This cannot be. 

So I am working on my tongue. And my heart.  It isn't an easy thing to do, but I know that God will be honored and I want to obey Him and enjoy fellowship with Him.  I do not want this sin in my life to keep me from a deep, loving and passionate relationship with the One who saved my soul from certain death.  I hope and pray that for those who struggle with the same thing, this is your prayer as well. 



Don’t really have a lot to say

I have been an erratic blogger lately as quite frankly I don’t really have too much to say. Which actually is really funny that I am at a loss for words since so much seems to be happening right now.

I am still here pregnant. The bags are half packed and I am still trying to get my to do list done. They aren’t major things so maybe I can put them off until after BBH arrives.

Madi has decided that she is just not going to listen to me anymore. I have a feeling that she is sensing the changes that are about to come and she is a little upset with me. I did expect this but I didn’tnreally prepare myself for how frustrating it would be. There is nothing more hair-raising and irritating when your child constantly tells you no or ignores you altogether. It will be interesting to see what things will be like after brother gets here.

I did watch Jon and Kate last night. I am so sad for the kids. Probably one of the most horrible things I have seen on television. Nobody wants to watch a marriage crumble like that. So sad.

Dan is working really hard at Knott as well as getting everything in order so that when BBH arrives things will be taken care of with Illuminate.

I am done being pregnant. LOL!

And I have learned that I have a problem with EGR people. (extra grace required). Especially while I am pregnant. My patience level is very low right now so I need to be extra mindful of my tongue. I have a tendency to react purely on emotion and not think about the words being used. Your prayers in this would be greatly appreciated.

Please keep us in prayer as well as my due date is rapidly approaching and I am starting to feel anxious and overwhelmed. That labor would be problem free and that I would be able adjust to being a mommy of two with patience and a gentle spirit.

Love to you all!


An amazing day!

First, I want to start off this post by wishing my sister Sheena a very wonderful 27th birthday. She is my Irish twin as we are only 10 1/2 months apart in age. And even more exciting is the fact that in just a few months she will be Mrs. Jeremy Roark. I am so excited and thrilled to be apart of that day.

Well, no BBH just yet, although I am experiencing more braxton hicks contractions lately which is a good sign. I am slowly finishing off my to do list before his arrival. He basically has everything he needs when he gets here. I am just extremely anxious to see his sweet face.

Today, my MIL, Madi and my neice AD headed out to the Rainforest Cafe for lunch at the Ontario Hills mall. Madi loved it. She really enjoyed seeing all of the animals and watching them come alive at different times throughout our lunch. At least, she liked the animals. When it began to thunder she wasn’t too thrilled. LOL! She doesn’t really like noise or fire or anything that seems scary. But she does like animals! And speaking of animals her gramie bought her a stuffed snake to take home. Madi picked out the snake. I would have much preferred a cute koala bear or something. Oh and the snake’s name is Lena. You can ask Dan about that one.

Then we headed home and the girls and I went swimming while Mama Harper purchased some caramel frappucinos for us. So delicious! Then we watched Finding Nemo (which I had never seen before. Adorable movie!) and Mama Harper and I made apple dumplings. Again absolutely delicious.

Now Madi and I are tucked in bed. She passed out rather quickly as she did not have a nap today (a meltdown did occur although Praise Jesus it was minor) and I am just blogging from my phone. Tomorrow should be another fun filled day Lord willing.

I pray you all had a great day as well! Good night!

Tiff~An amazing day!

37 Weeks!!

I have nothing major to write about except that I am 37 weeks and I am ready for him to get here!

Actually, if I could ask you all to pray for my Aunt who has breast cancer and will begin chemo next week. Pray for strength, endurance, patience and that ultimately the Lord reveal His love for her is ways she never thought possible. May the power of His Goodness and mercy be revealed in all things regardless of the outcome of her illness!!! God is good!!!



Lying awake

Right now it is about 10:30pm. I am lying in bed right now but I can’t really sleep. Madi is passed out on the bed right next to me and I can’t really help but just stare at her adorable face.

*sigh* how on earth didnI get so lucky to have been given such a sweet daughter. God is so good and I am constantly reminded of just how good He is whenever I take the time to look at my surroundings.

I am still battling this cough and my right side is still in a great deal of pain, but fortunately I have a lot of people who love me and are helping me out while I try to recover. It has been an absolute blessing and I am just so thankful for my family. I don’t think I would have survived without them. My in laws even volunteered to watch Madi so Dan and I could spend some much needed time alone together. We both have been so caught up in our work or personal illnesses that wehaven’t really spent a lot of time connecting. It was so good to get outside and walk hand and hand with Dan. I missed his company ;).

I will be 37 weeks tomorrow which means that I am almost done. I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy has flown by. I am anxious to kiss some sweet baby cheeks soon.

I hope you all have a wonderful night!